I feel like such a loser right now. I think I'm just buzzed and tired though.
I worked the late shift and put in an hour over time. It was after midnight when I left work. The BF left me his car so, I drove down to the club him and his friends were going to meet me at.
It was really fun. Co-op and Hunnicut were spinning and they are the best DJ's I know. The BF wants them to play at our wedding reception and I agree! The night we met for the first time was at a Co-op and Hunnicut show.
I offered my boyfriend a blowjob tonight and he said he'd rather hang out with his friends. Faggot.
I think I live vicariously through my boyfriend. He's so awesome and popular and I'm so retarded and lame.
I think The BF and I compliment each other well. He's extroverted and I'm introverted, but pretend to be extroverted. He can never make a decision and I can always make a decision.
He can't cook, but I'm really good at cooking. He loves playing music and I love listening to music. He has a million friends and I wish I had a million friends. I just like to pretend that his friends are my friends too so I don't feel so cheap-ass in the friend department.
I don't know why I'm so obsessed with my relationships with other people. I need to fucking get over it because it slowly kills me every day.
Like, today at work, a coworker tried to make small talk with me, but I didn't understand that it was one of those conversation where you don't actually say what you mean, so I started responding, but then halfway through realized my coworker was totally not even listening and instead scrolling through her fucking blackberry. And I felt so fucking dumb.
It's like what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm socially retarded. Half the time I have no idea what to say to people because I don't know what they want when they talk to me. I can never tell if they are trying to get to know me or if they are so used to asking meaningless questions they do it out of habit.
I don't know what they want. I have no interpersonal skills apparently. I'm such a loser I am such a loser.
Tomorrow I'm going to help a coworker sandbag his house. I'm hoping this gesture will shine a positive light on me and make people like me.
I can't believe my boyfriend turned down a blowjob. What a faggot. He ALWAYS wants a bj and now suddenly his friends are more important.
Maybe I have no friends because I'd choose oral sex over them.