Waiting for Happiness

Happiness is not a fish that you can catch. I can't play the ukulele worth a shit and when I told my boyfriend I wanted to move to the United Kingdom for a year on a work visa he said he'd break up with me because he doesn't want to come with me and he doesn't want a long distance relationship. (Even though I'd be gone only for a year... possibly only 6 months! Plus we've been dating for over a year and are practically engaged, just with no rings.)

I'm not sure what he's so afraid of. He just bought a car and his career is going really well. He's made a shit-ton of friends and his music and photography are really kicking off. He has a great life. I don't.

I am unhappy to the extreme. Judging by the name of this blog, perhaps you would agree?

I've always wanted to travel and I think this would be a super amazing opportunity. I'm ready to leave now! I want to go, get out, fly away, never come back for a year!

The BF wants to stay, be rooted, be responsible, buy a house, be a nob.

Fucking lucky bastard. If we were switch positions, I wouldn't want to leave either.

So now I'm debating... do I leave for a year anyway? Lose my job, my apartment, my fucking boyfriend! One of the few people who puts up with my bullshit attitude towards life and living in general.

Do I throw that all away? I don't think that I am throwing it all away. I think I'm putting it on hold until I've seen the world. I've always wanted to travel. Why not now? Why not now while I'm young and and flexible? Later is too late for me.

And as we've all learned with The BF, later is the story of his life.

I can't wait much longer. It feels like I'm waiting for happiness. I just want to go out into the world and be satisfied... If I have to do it alone, then so be it.