I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right
I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
"I wanna fucking tear you apart"
Tear You Apart - By She Wants Revenge
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That's The BF's cell phone ring; One of them anyway. It's a good song, but I always hear the last bit of the chorus every day and it wears on you. Right now he's trying to sleep. I was just on Facebook doing things so that his phone will ring while he's trying to sleep. He gets everything sent to his phone. Loser.
My boyfriend is such a jerk and I have serious doubts about marriage. We have 364 days to go! Fuck that! He is so untidy and so unwilling to be more tidy. He is unwilling to help with chores around the house, especially dishes and laundry.
This morning I woke up at 7:30 am and cleaned the entire bathroom, the sink, the disgusting toilet, and I even dusted the ledges around the tub. I swept the kitchen, the pantry, and the dining room. I cleaned the litter boxes (which is The BF's job he rarely does until I nag him) I actually washed out the litter boxes with soap and bleach and gave the kitties fresh litter!
I didn't have breakfast. I got ready for work in record time and caught the bus at 9:55 am.
I did so much this morning. The BF comes home and does nothing. He usually wakes up at 6:45 and arrives at work at 7:30. Today he had to start work at 6:30 am for a special meaning. He showed up late. Figures.
So, I wake up an hour and a half after him and I'm still able to clean the house up a bit and make it to work 10 minutes early! I went to bed at midnight like I always do. If he knew he had a special early morning meeting, why did he go to bed at like 1 in the morning? He's a moron.
He picked me up from work at 7. We got home and I wrote out a shopping list. I treat us to sushie and we head to the store to shop. He's bitching about Cheese Whiz in the store. He wants a huge container of it. I say no. We're on a budget and I already wrote out the shopping list. Plus, I don't eat Cheeze Whiz cause it's SHIT and I know that any food I don't eat, he won't eat, because I don't cook with food I don't eat and he NEVER cooks ever, not even for himself when I'm gone.
One time he asked me to buy Velveeta cheese. I gave in even though I knew I'd never eat it and neither would he. He still hasn't eaten it. He asked to buy sausages. I don't eat sausages, but I thought that on days when I'm not home for supper he could make them. He still hasn't. They're frozen in the freezer. Now this Cheeze Whiz bullshit. I told him he could have the smallest jar there is. He complained it was too small and it looked like a travel size. Anyway, that's all he gets. I'm not wasting money on food he won't eat. Especially when I'm trying to cut our grocery costs down.
The store we were at didn't have everything I needed. I told him we'd have to stop at another grocery store that I knew would have what I wanted. He bitched and complained. Oh he's so tired! Oh he worked 10 hours today! Oh he had to get up so early!
I said right to his face, NOT MY PROBLEM! I asked, are you seriously going to make me continue grocery shopping by myself while you fucking facebook? Oh right, sorry, I mean sleep, not facebook.
He said no. I said good because I'm not done shopping and it's your job to help. We had a bit of screaming match in the parking lot. I told him to just stay in the car and not talk to me for the rest of the night. He followed me into the 2nd store anyway. I made him carry the 18 kg bag of kitty litter. I made sure it was the first item on my list to be picked up so he'd have to struggle around the store with it. Sucker.
I reminded him about the dishes that needed to be done tonight too. We always do the dishes together. A weeks worth has piled up, plus we had guests over the weekend! Yesterday I wanted to get them done and The BF threw a hissy fit then. I asked him if I had to give him 24 hour notice before requesting chores to be done because he always throws a fit. He said yes. He thought I was joking and I thought he was serious. He had no recollection of me asking him yesterday to help with housework today.
He bitched and moaned about the dishes like a damn baby. I said fuck you do them all yourself tomorrow and I want them ALL done BEFORE you come pick me up from work. Any that aren't cleaned properly you'll have to do them again and again and again until they are perfectly clean and spotless.
Argh he makes me so fucking mad! Tomorrow morning I'm waking up early again to start preparing some meals to keep in the freezer so that when The BF comes home from work he can take a casserole out of the freezer and pop it in the oven and it will be ready to eat by the time I get home from work at 7 pm. Too bad all the dishes are dirty! Whatever. More for The BF to wash that jackass!
And when we get married this life shall continue. When I get a state of the art dishwasher and clothes washer and dryer, my life will be easier. I keep telling myself that, but somehow I don't think it's true. Marriage doesn't make you different. In fact, you pretty much stay the same, except you get fatter and more bitter. There's so much to fucking look forward too in my future, I can't wait to feel that noose tight around my neck!