Thursday, January 1, 2009


I arrived at the New Year's party just in time. My car's engine started smoking, so I pulled over and shut it off. I got out of the car and starting cursing the frigid cold air. I was going to have to walk and I still had a ways to go. Thankfully, a woman pulled onto the street I was on and I flagged her down and begged for a ride.

Like I said, I made it to the party just in time. Made myself a quick drink and cheered with a room full of people I barely knew. HE was there. I shouldn't even say his name. I'd like to make up a fake one to give him, but I don't know if I can. I'll just refer to him in italics.

Anyway, The BF was unusually clingy tonight. It made me uncomfortable because I'm not used to being given that much attention from him in a social gathering. We like to keep separate at a party and mingle. Plus, he's too busy taking pictures all the time. He barely took any tonight. I felt like I was being babysat.

The BF was watching out for Him. I never see Him. In fact this was only our second meeting, but we talk online and text often enough. I would love to hang out with Him all the time, but he lives far away. To far to drive.

I just have to say that tonight:
A) I loved His outfits. Both of them. (He spilled a drink on himself)
B) He is definitely not fat, no matter what he thinks of himself.
C) I loved the lisp. It's too fucking cute! I just love it!

I didn't mean to make fun of it tonight, I actually really like it. Ah, he's so adorable!

He is the only person to make me doubt my relationship with my boyfriend. I want a piece so bad. (That's how I used to solve these kinds of dilemas.) I never will though and it makes me itch with curiosity! Every 'what if' has crossed my mind.

Anyway, he'll be in my head for a few days. I'll just masturbate a few times, feel guilty, and then eventually get over it for a few months until we meet again.

I was trying to be so cool tonight too... Every time someone tries to be cool, they become a loser. I was totally a loser tonight. Avoiding eye contact so nobody knew I wanted to look at him so bad.

I had the perfect excuse to throw my arms around him tight too... It's fucking New Years.

But the hostess smashed her glass end table when she caught her fiance smoking pot in the basement of their new house. The BF and I headed for the door right after. No need to be caught up in any more drama than what's necessary.

Tomorrow I'll get my car. Hopefully it didn't burst into flames or some other unfortunate event.

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